i should be studying for my comm test thursday, but i just cant focus, i dont care enough. i have been fortunate enough so far to be doing really well on my exams, A's on the first 3.....lets hope i can maintain that, at least for a little while. i dont have much to say...i just felt the need to write, i made my second trip to the emergency room last night, and the people were really mean, except for the nurse who looked like my math teacher, she was nice, but i had to give blood for the first time, which was a quite terrifying experience for me. i know that sounds wussy, but ive never done it before and i hate needles, so sue me for being a little nervous. im so sick of school, im ready for it to be over, i just cant focus anymore.....my mom is comin down this weekend and i am excited, and before i know it ill be home again, and that will be weird.....im sorry, i just dont know what to say, im really hungry, i think im gonna eat a kitkat before i go to bed....dont know how much longer the blog is gonna last kiddos, gimme a shoutout if you want to keep it alive, but for now, peace.

you know emily, you wanted me to keep this so you could comment on it.....and i see no comments via emily nedderman....so the blog is in serious jeopardy of being terminated. but i will continue anyways, without the link to this in my profile, alot less people can read it. im really starting to miss familiar faces, my mom is coming in town next weekend and i am really excited. i needed her this weekend because i was so sick and i just wanted her here to take care of me, thats one of those things that before you come you forget you might miss.....but i do. i really wish jordan was here too, i miss him so much, this is really hard, but i know its gonna be so worth it, i just wish i wasnt so poor so i could see him in 3 weeks in stead of 2 months, that kinda stinks. im just ready for people to come visit, and even maybe to go home....it will just be nice i guess. i mean dont get me wrong, i am still having so much fun here, especially with FLiP starting up, i met so many cool people this weekend, and angela said it so perfectly, it really is the most random group of people ever, so it will be so fun, i love our counselors too, they are just awesome. this year is gonna be so fun...minus all the tests and crap, what a pain, i hate school....you know what? i really want to go to new york for new years, i know that is totally random, but i think that would be so much fun, i dont know who with, i think it would be fun to go with jordan....but of course i would, anyways, that was random, but i just wrote something for you emily, because you are the only one who reads it, and if i dont see a comment soon, its gone forever, peace.

well to be honest, this day did not start out good. i went to philosophy which, if you arent already suffering some kind of illness it will force illness upon you, it really is that awful. then i went to comm aka waste of my time, that being the introductory course to major ladies and gentlemen, so thats good news indeed. then i ate lunch alone, felt like crizzap, got in a quick nap before eco, where my prof sold someone a copy of the old exams from our class for $21. thats a little ridiculous to me...because not only did it only cost like $3.25 to buy somewhere else, but you could print them off online too, but that dr. allen is a tricky one. so then i proceeded to do some hw, which is typical, then i drove around for an hour trying to find this place where i am supposed to pick up a package. and it was just one of those catch every red light, get to every place you want to be 5 minutes after it closes because you were stuck in traffic kinda days. but then i came back got some dinner, and talked to some people who really managed to cheer me up and make my day. brad and napoleon and of course jordan, really helped me relax and laugh, while i did my comm project. jordan always knows how to just make me happy.....i miss him alot.... im watching conan for the first time in months so that makes me happy too. I realized that i havent drank milk in over a month....that cant be good, so i guess i am going to substitute my usual smoothie and muffin for milk...and something else....you might say cereal but i eat as i walk to psyc, so thats not gonna work. last night was our first FLiP meeting and i am so excited i met so many cool people and our counselors rock too. when we were in rudder fountain playing around or whatever...i went to jump over the part of the fountain that shoots up, but i slipped and landed on it and in the process, i got this huge scratch bruise on my back and broke my bra. so i was running around all night with my bra unhooked wondering why it felt so funny.....good times. ok im gonna attempt to get in bed early, so goodnight, and i hope you have a great week! oh and we beat the hell outta clemson, heck yes! farmers fight, call it a night, peace.

its been a long week....but im glad its finally pretty much over. and by pretty much i mean as of 1220 tomorrow i will have completed my first college exam. its that kinda of thing that makes my mom cry, kinda like...rosh hashanah, happy RH everyone!

anyways like i said, i have a psyc test tomorrow, and im pumped, i love to the very core of my being psychoneuroimmunology and the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis, but more than anything....endogenous opioids. im really not very good at studying....i cant focus for more than like 20 mins at a time.....am i screwed? what do you think?

im really excited for tomorrow night, im goin to dinner with brady, then the volleyball and soccer game, and of course midnight yell, i think it will be a good end to a rather long and stressful week. remember how i talked about how i was really excited for my philosophy class? it is still a good chance to stand firm in my beliefs and be strong, but holy crap that class is a butt whooping. my teacher is so so boring and makes no sense at all, its not what i had hoped to be, and as of now i will be more than satisfied with a C in that class. i feel like i should study more...but i also feel like i know this stuff, my suitemate Kim is in this class with me, maybe we can go over some stuff together, but as for now, im calling it a night. emily and jordan will both be in dayton, ohio this weekend participating in their collegiate atheltic events, isnt that weird? i miss them both very much....im not going home till homecoming in like a month and i think that is awesome. ok guys seriously, i havent had a coke all week, if you know me at all, you know what a struggle that is, and so that makes me feel kinda good about myself.

i have been a little sad lately, i dont know why, not really when im with my friends, but when im alone with my thoughts, i am sad, i do not know why.....tuesday was a good day, i remember that...im ready for some chillier weather, im tired of breaking into a sweat on my way to class, then just getting to sit and let it stick to my body, while i am being forced to learn, at this point, the same material in about 3 different classes, oh well, at least its easy, have a good weekend.

it went from enjoying the sexy phlegm (sp?) to oh my gosh dont talk to me or i will sneeze all over your face. apparantly 1 out of every 3 people at a&m have contracted some sort of illness this past week, this of course including myself. i feel like crap, and it doesnt help that i stay up till 2 AM at least every night. you might be saying "jamie you idiot go to bed" and thats when i say, "dont call me an idiot" and i stay up till 2AM, mainly because im a night owl, and i like having a social life, sorry. life has been so busy lately with all these applications and a test on friday, and battles with laundry machine, college rules. but at least my hard work on those applications paid off, because i got interviews for all of them, i had one today and it went well, i have two tomorrow, and one of them is business casual i dont know how i feel about that. im sick and i dont care how i look, and you shouldnt either, i thought it was whats on the inside that counts....yea right, whatever. no im kidding, these are great organizations really, and i really hope i get into one. midnight yell and the football game were this past weekend, and it was SO much fun, despite it being hot, and at that time my sickness was only beginning i had such a great time, and this is only the beginning.

for some reason, college time seems to move alot slower than high school/summer time. i swear i have been here for like 3 months and it has only been 3 weeks, i have loved it so much, its just weird because i feel like i have known these people forever. like this past summer went by so so fast, so much happened and it seemed like it only lasted a week, its weird how those things work out. ok friends, all ye who arent in college station i miss you, and ill see you when i see you cuz im not leavin here for a long time. im sick and i need to be nursed back to health, oh yea, go see garden state, its amazing, peace.

i have to wake up in less than 6 hours, why am i blogging? i dont really know i just needed to get my thoughts down, and because my roommate is still up and due to the 2 hour nap i took this afternoon some things didnt get done until about 30 minutes ago, but like i said its cool. im really ready for this week to be over there is just too much going on i feel like i am forgetting something. i just want it to be friday at the soccer game, then midnight yell (yea yea) then finally on saturday the first home fightin texas aggie football game, i cant even explain how excited i am. im too sleep and hunger deprived to say anything of real meaning or even of real comprehension. im just frustrated with some stuff right now, and im kinda wishing every thing would just go away for a little while, or that we could at least revert back to the week before school started, what carefree time those were. im applying to 4 flos and i really want to get into one, especially flip, i dunno it just seems made for me. so many people apply and like less than 15% get in, and i just dont know if i am qualified enough, if i am unique or special enough to be involved in this, lets just hope so. i have an aggie sisters for christ meeting tomorrow, im looking forward to it, but i talked to someone who said they werent very impressed so we will see about that, ok thats it i am beyond tired and i have yet another long day tomorrow, stress levels are rising, not just with school though, with everything, like i said i really wish i could hit the pause button right now. peace.

i have to wake up in less than 6 hours, why am i blogging? i dont really know i just needed to get my thoughts down, and because my roommate is still up and due to the 2 hour nap i took this afternoon some things didnt get done until about 30 minutes ago, but like i said its cool. im really ready for this week to be over there is just too much going on i feel like i am forgetting something. i just want it to be friday at the soccer game, then midnight yell (yea yea) then finally on saturday the first home fightin texas aggie football game, i cant even explain how excited i am. im too sleep and hunger deprived to say anything of real meaning or even of real comprehension. im just frustrated with some stuff right now, and im kinda wishing every thing would just go away for a little while, or that we could at least revert back to the week before school started, what carefree time those were. im applying to 4 flos and i really want to get into one, especially flip, i dunno it just seems made for me. so many people apply and like less than 15% get in, and i just dont know if i am qualified enough, if i am unique or special enough to be involved in this, lets just hope so. i have an aggie sisters for christ meeting tomorrow, im looking forward to it, but i talked to someone who said they werent very impressed so we will see about that, ok thats it i am beyond tired and i have yet another long day tomorrow, stress levels are rising, not just with school though, with everything, like i said i really wish i could hit the pause button right now. peace.

all is well on the home front. i am overwhelmed with that awesome feeling of accomplishment because i got alot of things done this weekend, so hopefully i can get into some sort of routine of reading ungodly amounts of things i dont care much about, yay college. but seriously i love it, me and napoleon were talking tonight about how we have so much fun just chillin. like friday night for instance, we had girls night at johnnas and the boys were having boys night at brads. then the girls went over to the boys and we just chilled and hung out and me and napoleon ended up crashing there, and for some reason that was one of our favorite nights so far of being here. ill take hangin out eating lots of food, watching movies and just getting to know people and making real friends, instead of getting wasted every night i can and realizing down the road that i cant be friends with people unless they were wasted with me. i just consider myself lucky to have met so many people who feel the same way. i love this place.

i think sleep depravation is gonna be a real problem, id rather talk to people than sleep and i think that is gonna bite me in the butt here soon, but i think talking to people is more important, only if it is real conversation, you can do small talk anytime, but sometimes 2AM is the best time to have a heart to heart i dont know. i hope everyone is having as much fun as i am, i just feel like we only get here once so we gotta make the most of it. like next weekend is the first home football game and i am SO EXCITED. granted i dont get to participate in the traditional midnight yell mug down and all that, but i wouldnt anyways, its not really like me to make out with random strangers, despite what you may think. well it is my bedtime, like i said all is well....i am so peacefully happy, praise the Lord he has been so good, peace fools.

geez, so many thoughts are just whirling around inside my head, and its like i need to put them in some kind of order, but i dont know how or where to start. im confused about alot of things, but its not that im confused on what to do, i think i know what i need to do, its just how to do it that is the kicker. this wouldnt be a problem if it was a good thing to do. and its not that its bad, i think it will end up being a good thing. geez i better stop before i give myself a headache, or recreate my heartburn from earlier tonight, man that was killer. im really sick of that. remember a couple months ago, when i blogged about my really bad eating habits? well get ready for some deja vu. im just being an idiot, i havent eaten breakfast in i dont know how long, i usually end up grabbing a kit kat or fruit snacks before i stumble out the door in the morning wishing i was still in bed. but i dont feel like i eat as much at my meals as i usually do. for like a week i used the excuse that i was trying to get back on track after the abissmal fish camp food, but its been over a week and not much has changed. im really hungry now, but i dont want to eat, cuz im pretty positive im not going to the rec anytime soon so its not like im gonna work it off, i guess i could go tomorrow, but like that really does any good cuz i know i cant make it a habit, there havent been enough hours in the day lately.

i was walking back from the parking lot really trying to sort my thoughts cuz i wanted to blog, and blog coherently mind you. but i couldnt, like i said i feel like everything is just spinning and i hope that soon it will stop and i will be able to go in the direction God wants me to go, and have peace that im going the right way. i think maybe what it comes down to....is i just really need a hug, a big one and lots of them frequently. am i asking too much? probably, i dont meant to be selfish, but i just really want a friend here that i can talk to about everything, i know its kinda early for that kinda best friendship, but i feel like i need it. i love it here so so much, but i do miss my friends too, i cant really have late night talks with anyone like i can traci, i miss that too. but at the same time where i miss the familiarity and comfort of my friends who really know me, i have no desire to go home anytime soon, i feel like this is my home and this is where i need to be.

i think maybe its time for me to grow up, and depend on God alot more than the people around me, even though i seriously need them too. so if yall could just please pray for me, that i can get my thoughts all sorted out, and just have peace.

oh yea, i just wanted to mention, that i really dont like it when people try to disprove my faith, my philosphy professor made some comments this morning that kinda got to me, but it also made me want to research it, which in effect would help me grow stronger in my faith, because it cant be disproven, it hasnt yet, and if you think you can, you really really think you can, please talk to me, because i would be really interested in hearing what you have to say, this class is going to be cool.

sorry for the long blog.....