i should be reading for psyc, but i thought this was more important. today in my philosophy class the professor asked alot of good but controversial questions, like do you believe in God? why/why not? and what is God? and so forth, things that might be weird for people to discuss within an hour of meeting eachother. well in that class discussion and in other discussions later in the day, i found alot of people that i have a problem with organized religion and even churches.

thats why i am so glad i went to breakaway tonight. the speaker talked about the church and how people have replaced the church for whatever reason, failing to recognize that church isnt a place, but its a body of worshippers coming together for the common purpose of sharing the gospel with the world. thats what we are called to do as christians. you cant do that without going to church. when we accept christ, we become part of one body, and we have a purpose to serve being this part, but its really hard for the body to function if we decide not to fellowship with them and grow closer to God with the encouragement of others.

I dont really know what im trying to say i know im rambling, God just really spoke to me through this message especially since i am going into a class where the whole first half of the semester i get the chance to argue in favor of my faith, and learn more about it and other religions and beliefs and im really excited. But like i was saying organized religion, however very worldly and fake in some cases is so necessary for us to become closer to Christ and spread the word to those who dont know him. Yay for philosophy i cant wait, pray for me that i will use the right words and attitude and have the right heart toward the people in my class and all the people i will encounter. there have already been two times in my tenure at a&m where i have gotten to share my faith, because i was asked too, and that makes me soo happy, golden oppurtunity to share the gospel...God has amazing things in store!

i am a tired old woman, last night was crazy i need not go into details, but if you get a chance and its not illegal or something where you are, get your friends get a camera, and got fountain hopping at like 2 AM, guaranteed fun. i guess this implies that i still love it here and i really do, its just so fun and so different from highschool, i think i was made for this. not that i didnt have fun in highschool because i did, its just that a majority of the people there were just....well...shady. the people here could be that way too, but at least the people here can like me for who i am and not for what i am known to be. i caught a rep in like 7th grade that stuck with me until graduation, and no one here knows about that, its wonderful to finally be comfortable with myself without being made fun of. if you get a chance, come to a&m its probably the friendliest place in the world and i guess that makes it that much easier to be comfortable and happy here, i am so blessed. but i didnt get a lot of sleep last night i was in the corps dorms all night...weird i know. anyways im off to nap because its raining, and thats what people do when it rains.

college is amazing. i love it so much, i will do a quick recap of the last week or so, cuz i gotta get goin. ok so i came down and went to fish camp, and it was incredible i met so many people and we had so many good times it was crazy, i miss it so much. i cant decide if we are losers because its been like 2 days and we still talk about it all the time. anyways i came back to aggieland with my room decorated with welcome back signs and hugs and smiles from my roommates and suitemates and even a girl from across the hall. i have been doing stuff since i got back and i love it.

you know i just wrote a huge blog describing all the events of the last two days, but i realized that no one wants to read that, so i will summarize. cheddars, joe, cole and tomileigh, katyes, movin in, 50 first dates and freebirds. bernies, moses, krueger, dixie chicken, walkin around, commons, walmart, strawberry daiquiris and pina coladas (virgin), chocolate chip brownies and tim bobo. that about sums it up, college is awesome, college is amazing, i am so happy here.

the last few days have been tough, im not gonna lie. tuesday i had to say goodbye to jordan, and that was one of the hardest things i have ever done. that might sound crazy, but praise the Lord i havent had a hard life, so saying goodbye to someone who means so much to me and who i wont see again for at least 2 months was just a little difficult. im doing alot better now though, i talk to him everyday, which is good, and i know it will better once i go to school, thats tomorrow by the way, weird. oh and last night i ahd to say goodbye to a majority of the people who have been my best friends these last couple of years. they are all going somewhere close so it wasnt as emotional as it could have been, but i will still miss them alot. it hasnt really hit me yet that i wont see them at church on sunday, or that we wont be hanging out at tracis next week just swimmin and eating cookies like always, ill miss that.

like i said tomorrow i leave for a&m, kinda. im not movin in i am goin to fish camp the 21-24, and i am so excited, im ready to meet new people and make new friends and memories, its all very exciting. i dont think i have much to say, i will miss everyone that will still be here, but i will see them again soon enough. by the way, i love the olympics, so fun to watch, blaine wilson, easily the hottest olympian of all nations and events, but if he sounds anything like the hamm brothers who sound like kerri strug, he loses like 35 cool points, thats just ridiculous. oh and i love this rainy weather so nice and relaxing, its hard to pack when i would rather take one final nap at home, im going to sit here and listen to coldplay and contemplate what to do with the rest of my last day at home, peace fools.

i finally saw napoleon dynamite tonight, fantastic movie, see it if you havent, it gave me a good laugh. ive been thinking about it, and i really am so excited to get started on college, it seems as though it has been creeping up on us for the last month or so and im almost to the point where i just wish it would get here and we could all move on. change is exciting but scary, but there is something comforting to me in knowing that in a couple months our new lives, that none of us have any clue on what they are going to be like, will suddenly become our normal, average everyday lives, and im looking forward to being comfortable in my new surroundings which i have yet to even experience. but at the same time, i wish i had enough to cram in time with all the people i want to see and spend time with, but it didnt really work out that way, and it didnt work out that way for a reason. im happy, because i know that God has incredible things in store for us, and we have no idea what they are, yea its scary, but hes in control, he always has been and always will be, so all these emotions of fear and worry really have no business in consuming our thoughts, because God isnt going to put us in situations we cant handle, we may put ourselves there, but he never would. but for some reason there is still a part of me thats scared, i guess thats my nature. if anyone even reads this, i hope you had the best summer and whether you are returning to highschool or college, or going to college for the first time, good luck, God bless, and stay in touch. this isnt the last blog, just the last one about this college stuff, i think i finally have some sort of closure, and im getting a little tired of talking about it.

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord, will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:30-31

my best friend of the last 6 years left for college yesterday. i wont see her again until christmas. that sucks. it hit me when i was leaving her house that i wouldnt be able to hang out with her and laugh with her again for so long. im really excited about making new friends, but i hate saying goodbye to the old ones. the ones who knew me when i had my bangs and was really ugly and weird, i feel like they will always know me best.

Jordan leaves a week from tomorrow, i dont want to talk about it. why did i even bring it up? probably because it is currently on my mind as i sit my ultra quiet house, giving me time to just sit here and think. i have been doing that alot lately, but i really dont think i am alone, am i? no need to really share those thoughts now, i have already shared most of them and you are probably already thinking them yourself, so i think im gonna go and pick out pictures for the frames i am taking to a&m with me, have a pleasant day.

today i took tyler to get registered at the good ole alma mater, CHHS, and i was walkin around and saw a bunch of the new seniors, and whitney kolle told me she wished she was where i was, gettin ready to go to college instead of being stuck in highschool. i felt the same way. i still do, im glad to be on this side of things, im so so excited, but when you are just gettin ready to be a senior in highschool, you dont really understand everything else that comes with going to college. you forget to remember that you are gonna have to say goodbye to virtually everyone you love, and you can only hope to see some of them again. you look forward to that magical day when you set sail for college, but when your countdown on your profile starts gettin down to the single digits it freaks you out a little. emily leaves sunday. this really hit me last weekend and i almost started to cry, she has been my best friend since the 7th grade, and she will be pretty much removed from my life in about 2 days. weird, i dont want to talk about it, why am i talking about it.

i guess all this is just what is on my mind. the other night a bunch of us from the church went bowling and the whole time, tommy just looked so sad. i asked him what was up, and he was like it just kinda hit me that im leavin in 6 days. it hit me a little then too. so much to say, so many thoughts are just racing through my head, i guess im just trying to sort everything out.

tomorrow night the volleyball seniors are headed to one last dinner and i am so excited. we have had so many crazy fun memories and a ton of laughs. emily is going to wake forest. jen, seton hall. leah, OU. Moan, loyola marymount (or something like that). mullins, OU or perhaps texas state, my memory is a bit jumbled. julia...i wanna say TCC. and as for me, i head for aggieland in 14 days, thats just 2 weeks. we are all going our separate ways indeed, but just about a year ago, we bonded incredibly and had so many good times, im glad we get to have one last hoorah, and we can all talk about how we feel about this college business.

when i got home last night, there was an IM from Kristin, my roommate, and it said something like "hey, 16 days....im too scared, im not going, end of story." at least im not in it alone. sorry for the long blog, i had to get my thoughts out, and that isnt nearly all of them, i wouldnt throw that upon you, but again my apologies, goodnight all.

its late, im tired, but i just thought that it was time to inform you all, if anyone even still reads this, that with college i shall return, because i know my thoughts will come forth in abundance. and also Hope told me that if i didnt continue my blog in college she would end my life, and since she just had her 19th birthday, this is pretty much in honor of her. and because i have alot of things on my mind. its august, and i feel like i just got home from project graduation. in less than 20 days we head off to college, to a whole new chapter and experience in our life, and not one of us has a real clue of what it is going to be like. im excited, and im scared, its just kinda hitting me that all the great times i have with my church friends at tracis playing pool basketball, watching movies and eating cookies wont just continue forever like i want it to. its weird to think that we wont see some people ever again, we all say we wont let that happen, but we all know it will, and that would suck, if i wasnt absolutely positive that God has incredible things planned for our futures, with or without our fellow friends from middle school, or teammates from highschool. one thing i have discovered this summer, it never fails that vh1's insomniac will play alicia keyes' "if i aint got you" within the first 15 mins of their show, at least thats what i have learned this summer.