Here is a list of things i would/could/and probably should be doing: sleeping, reading cliffs notes for part 2 c&p, or studying for economics some more. The only reason i have these options is because our kids didnt show up at the embassy this morning, so i have been so graciously allowed this free time. I choose not to do those things because if i i go back to sleep, i wont wake up until 2. If i read cliffs notes for c&p i well develop a brain tumor. If i study even more for economics, my knowledge and memory of anything else will be forced out of my head, through my ears, and all i will ever be able to know and remember again is long run equilibrium curves. So that leaves me with this, blogging. You know that girl in 16 candles, the weird girl with neck brace that is a really awesome dancer? Well i feel like her right now, and not because i am an awesome dancer (even though i am) its because i feel like i have a neck brace on. Thats how tense i am right now, i feel like if i were to turn my head in any direction it might just snap off. So i need a massage bad, a really good one. But i dont know if i want to go to a pro, because i dont like giving people massages on their bare skin, or getting massages on my bare skin. It just kinda creeps me out, i dont know why, always has. So right about now im hoping for a good samaritan to come my way and offer his big strong but at the same time gentle hands, to my back and neck. That would be nice.

I had a realization last night, not including the monday we have off for easter, we only have 6 mondays left seniors.....SIX. That is awesome, because mondays are wretched and we can almost count them all on one hand. Then we are finally graduating. I looked at my graduation announcements yesterday and it also kinda hit me that its pretty much here.....this year went by so so fast and everything in our worlds is about to change so drastically. Im gonna spend the rest of my year trying to enjoy time with people i know i probably wont ever see again. Its not that i dont want to see them, thats just the way the world works. For all of you who are wondering, i still suck at track but its all good, the thrower type people are always a little eccentric, so we have a good time. And powderpuff is still fun.....i do however need a really creative, bad A nickname to put on the back of my shirt that will strike fear into the hearts of all juniors who dare to try to get the ball past me, ME the one and only free safety. Oh yea and i might have to play offensive line, isnt that odd? I never really considered myself that type, but ill go wherever my team needs me, THAT my friends is dedication.

I better get going, i doubt i will get to renshaw and watters and they too will allow me to just come home. Im scared for the eco test.....but in a few hours it will all be over, and i will hopefully be able to sit back in my little desk up front, and breath a sigh of relief, knowing i did the best i could, have a fantastic day!

"im gonna pee on you.....drip drip drip"

Its times when i am down on myself that i begin to realize and truly and appreciate who my good friends really are. And i am so glad for all the friends i have they just make me so happy, and feel so good about myself. So thank you Tyler, Toby, Randi, Jordan, Emily, and of course Callie i say "of course" because you were there to share my tears with me. Tonight was a rough one for me, but all of you got me through it. Sometimes life just isnt fair, it stinks, I didnt get something i felt i deserved and it hurts more because it was my last chance to get it being a senior. But I know i did everything i could to get what i wanted and i didnt. oh well ill get over it, cuz i dont have to deal with those people again if i dont want to.....ANYWAYS powderpuff is fun. Football is fun, what a great sport, i just love it....despite our class being in essence a bunch of dirty sailors (drinkning and cussing constantly) football is fun. I need to start tanning pretty soon, cuz im tired of looking at my pale pasty white skin, but i am also tired of looking at a whole lot of orange people, so im going to try not to become one of them either.

School is the spawn of satan, and i have no other way to describe it because thats what it is if you agree with me gimme an amen! (thats when you shout amen like an african american gospel singer and flail your hands about in the air). But it is almost over and things are getting busy but pretty exciting all at the same time. Summer is approaching but not fast enough and i cant wait for all the good times im gonna be having. I still suck at track but i am improving and if i dont improve at least i can say im almost always gonna be the best lookin girl at the discus ring, despite the pale pastiness.

"like water rolling off a duck's back...."

I have just returned from my senior retreat, and it was so much fun. Me Meredith, Jenni, and Traci drove out friday night and the Rockin C Ranch, is out in the middle of nowhere, its somewhere outside of Tyler. Anyways we drove out, and pretty much chilled and explored around our cabin. Now a little fact about the Rockin C Ranch, its a full blown workin ranch, so we round the corner into the entrance and there are horses in the road...just walkin around, no real fence, that was frightening after driving down somewhere around 3 miles of a dirt road in the middle of the woods at 1030 at night....can anyone say texas chainsaw massacre? Anyways, the next day, we went horseback riding and went on a high ropes course and a zipline. It was really fun, except for my horse teddy, did not like me at all, and i had never been horseback riding. And just two days before my friend was tellin me how her cousin had been bucked off a horse and broken both of her arms. So i was scared. He would run and go galloping off and i was at a slight lean to the left the whole time so i was definitely praying for my life and when they start goin fast it kinda hurts your crotch, probably more than you wanted to know, but you know its true. So needless to say i was glad that was over.

I discovered that im kind of afraid of heights. We did the high ropes course, ya know where you get in a harness and walk on those wires and stuff about 40 ft in the air. I was hungry and you know when im shake im hungry, and despite the fact that i was totally safe and attached to the wire and everything....i was shaking even more in fear, so like all the trees and poles and platforms were shakin with me, it was embarassing, but at least i didnt wuss out, i finished it. Then i went on the zipline and went down it completely upside down, ya know you get in the harness then just lean back and go hangin upside down, it was awesome. Ok so our friend Dustin was a worker at the zipline, he had a harness on as well, we didnt find out his name until later but before we found that out and even after we called him "the package"......now all of you who have worn harnesses know that they tend to accentuate a certain area on a man's body....well you can already imagine where this story is going. It was like he intentionally made everything bulge out...it was distracting it was like a softball in his pants and it was so funny. I know that also was probably too much...but it was just unruly, unnecessary and a little uncomfortable when you had to be near him.

So the retreat was fun, im really glad i went because it really helped me just get closer to God and get alot of peace about stuff like college and everything else. It just felt good to be out in the wilderness and enjoying God's beautiful creation, this includes the herd of cows in which one cow mounted another and commenced mating...hey God created it...i didnt. Anyways it was just a great experience, and going into this stressful week and all, i just needed it.

Oh yea, and cowboys, are really really hot. The cowboys that went horseback riding with us were huge jerks, but theres something about their look that i just really enjoy....but thats just probably the texan cowgirl comin out in me cuz woooo its just nice.

"i did not specify.....lady in blue comin through...."

Im really lookin forward to this weekend, because this has quite possibly been the longest week in the history of recorded time, but for me, it is all over now. Tomorrow i have the leadership conference, one heck of a good excuse to skip school and do nothing truly productive. Then i have my track meet, which i will of course suck at, but i dont really care....ive lost the touch and ya know that happens to the best of us, so im not lettin it get to me. Then after that i will be in a dead sprint to north east mall to buy my prom dress, i think it is really pretty, but to those of you who havent already seen it....you wont until may 14th until i walk in the door and i will be a vision of beauty and loveliness....HA that was a good one, but at least you will be able to tell that i love my dress. Then after that im packing and headin off to our senior retreat for church some where near Tyler, TX. Im drivin down with traci meredith becka and jenni, so it will be a lil road trip, then i get home saturday night, and do church and hw and all that.....back to the real world i suppose, but friday and saturday will be good! Man everything is getting sooo busy lately, i feel like im gonna lose track of alot of stuff...i hope i dont.

We start powderpuff practice monday and i am SO EXCITED, i love it, its so fun, football is just an amazing sport, and let me tellllllll you i am amazing at it. Actually ok im not, but id like to think so, so if you know i suck keep it to yourself and dont dash my hopes and dreams to smithereens (did that rhyme?)

So the two extremes of my kindergarten class for PALS are as follows: One-there is this real cute little girl that on more than one occasion has pulled me over and said "you look really beautiful today" and its the cutest sweetest thing ever, it always makes me feel so good about myself. Two- there is the other little girl new kid in class....doesnt speak a word of english and no spanish is not her native language it is most definitely russian......what....the crap......i dont really know what to do with her....i always noticed there was something strange about her eyes...i could never tell what though, until she looked me right in the face the other day and i realized that she has a lazy eye...i think thats what it was...she was sort of reptilian like a snake, a russian snake. Not to mention she is completely spastic and almost violent, she was standing in line waiting to go to PE and she just wraps her arms around the girl in front of her and starts flinging her about like a rag doll the poor girl let out a weak helpless scream and the young russian just looked at me.....and the teacher at the same time i think....and i was scared.

"you sold my dead bird to a blind kid?!"

Been thinkin alot lately. First and foremost i have to say that Josiah Clarke, is the man he is amazing and has been such a wonderful friend to me, i cant thank him enough for all of his wonderful advice and support, you have always been there for me and i cant thank you enough, you are such a blessing to me.

So anyways, i have been thinkin alot. There are so many things about me i would love to change, that have bothered me my whole life, most of which i have no control over. For instance, i have always been self conscious of my head. I just feel like i have a huge head, i know most of it is my hair, but still it makes me self conscious, like people notice it or something. Physically thats probably it.....i think God made me well, im satisified, but i am well on my way to getting fat and i cant do that especially right before the summer, we will see how that goes, but i dont think its going well, all i eat is crap....thats it, healthy food and lifestyle is not part of my diet so i pretty much think im screwed.

There are just two other things i wish were made different, and i dont want to go into detail cuz they are kinda personal but boys would be one. Ask Jo he knows.....i get screwed over alot, constantly all the time....and it hurts alot. But i got to the point where i was like ya know, God has a plan, a quite brilliant one at that, and when the right guy finds me, i think i will know it, it wont be perfect cuz nothing really is, but it will be right, it will be Gods will and it will be greater than anything i could ever imagine. Its just waiting until he finds me or i find him, thats the hard part.

The other is my dad, very personal touchy subject, if you want to know what im talkin about feel free to ask, because its nice to have someone to talk to, but its just something that i wish coulda been different. But then i think if it was, i may not have the life i have now.....and i love my life. So i have my own conflicting opinions on that. What it boils down to is that i have just been thinkin alot lately.

I may go on this senior retreat for church this weekend, it should be fun its weird to think how old we are gettin, i say that like everytime i write but its so true. I hate school, i hate crime and punishment, i hate economics, but i love the fact that summer, and graduation and graduation MONEY will be here sooner than i know it.

"honey you are a rock, upon which i stand"

Wow, school sucks....it really really sucks. We are just under the 2 month mark....thats right, i can almost smell my cap and gown. Unfortunately, in that two month time comes Crime and Punishment, economics tests, AP exams....but more importantly than that, hopefully alot of good times. Me and Emily are going prom dress shopping thursday, and im so excited, i love shopping especially for wonderfully gorgeous dresses, i love when you find the perfect one, isnt that just the greatest feeling? Anyways, that day we also have the big meeting for powderpuff we are gonna tear it up this year, its gonna be awesome, im so excited. And this friday got the leadership conference (thats right, im skippin school) and then a track meet. Track is hopeless. I officially suck. I have resigned to the fact, that i peaked sophomore year, that was my chance for the record. I havent improved in two years. I really think my inspiration came from coach Roe, i miss his gorgeous self, what a beautiful man, right up towards the top of my favorite coach list, thats for sure.

Wanna hear something gross? Today in the weight room, it was really crowded and this goofy lookin guy was runnin around doin the machines, and he was doin them all wrong, and he would get up, and not clean his machine off, and he is not someone i would want to swap sweat with.....ever. It was nasty, im sure you didnt want to hear about that, but you arent writing this blog are you?

So im still gettin that heartburn, and i still havent gone to the doctor, i have this secret fear that maybe my esophagus is slowly being burned away. I guess thats not a secret now, i just told all 3 of you who read this about it, thus negating is secretivity (is that a word?) Anyways, it really hurts and im afraid it has to do with stress too, and im about to be real busy these next couple of weeks and that is not good, hopefully my fears do not come true.

"i just want you to know who i am"

Well spring break is almost over, just one more day, and sunday hardly counts as part of spring break.....so pretty much im sitting here wallowing in my thoughts of returning to school. But heres the good part, i have approximately 8-9 weeks of high school left. The homestretch, graduation gets closer everyday, on monday it will be exactly 2 months away. Then begins quite possibly the greatest summer of all time, boston, camp, road trip (hopefully more than one of those), and there is even a cruise in the works. And in between all that, just chillin here with my friends drivin around makin mischief and gettin tan.....this spring break was just a taste of that which makes me really happy. Today was the day of my spring break and i did absolutely nothing. I got out of bed somewhere around 120, ate breakfast, watched goldmember then ate lunch. Then i went and filled my tank with gas, got a jamba juice and drove around by myself just jammin and enjoying yet another beautiful texas spring day. I didnt really have anything to say in this blog, i just got a little bored, thats why i think only one day of lying around per spring break is enough, because you need to spend the rest of the time with your friends, or vacationing, and since i have done both of those and the sunday before the return to school doesnt really count as spring break, today was my official day of nothingness.

But i am gonna go to tracis tonight and get in the hot tub with my girls, ive missed them! Pizza, cookies, hot tub, and apparantly school of rock are in the works for the evening, ive never seen school of rock, but i have heard pretty good things.

I saw dawn of the dead last night, definitely more funny than scary, it was also pretty gross at times......then there were the randoms parts of sexuality and nakedness, that i didnt pay to see, i dont usually pay to see nakedness, i DID however pay to see the preview for brad pitts new movie TROY. Girls i say we all go see that together, and enjoy the eternally hot hotness that is mr pitt.......mmmm good. Alright time to take a shower, and prepare for girls night of staying home gettin fat and soakin in the hot tub, nothin like the last day of spring break, later dudes!

"its powdered sugar......its delicious"

Geez, my computer is getting slower and slower everyday. Anyways, i just got back from colorado today, Crested Butte, CO, to be specific. I went skiing for the first time and man that first day i sucked hard. First of all our insructor wasnt even cute, so immediately my attention span was cut short. Then we go out on these wimpy little green runs, and on the first one, i go skidding out of control into these two snowboarders. Dont worry, no one was injured because as i was headed toward them i yelled "WATCH OUT!!!" then i screamed a profanity, so they moved. Then my next fall was one of the top 3 best, i went down this other wimpy little green and once again going extremely fast and out of control, the tip of one of my ski's hit the ground (i think) and i just went tumbling forward, lost a ski and both poles, it would have sucked if it would have hurt, but it didnt so it was awesome. I fell alot of other times that day, and alot of times i would be skiing and i would try to turn, but i would turn too sharply and ski backwards for about 20 yards or so before i totally busted. Only good skiiers ski backwards. Well ok there was this one time, i went on a green that was a little longer than the ones before, and at the beginning there are these two hills that if you take them too fast you catch air and hope to land it safely. Well let me back up and say that just on the way down this hill i fell down twice, but its ok this really hot snowboarder fetched me one of my poles, it made the fall almost worth it. But then of course i went way too fast down those hills, caught about 10 ft of air, and landed on my butt, right in front of the hot snowboarder. Ouch. THEN right at the end of the run, at the base of the mountain where everyone is, i somehow managed to crash into a fence, and i couldnt get out, all i heard was laughter all around me, and lauren saying that my mom saw me and was taking pictures. Great. Finally, the second day i did alot better, went down a bunch of blues, got tackled in line by a snowboarder and run over by another skiier, and that was another one of those times when a hot snowboarder went by makin sure i was alright...mmmm that was nice. All in all it was a great trip, Crested Butte is a beautiful place, you should go sometime.

Before the break i finally saw shawshank redemption, that was a great movie. I really enjoyed it, minus the violent gay men, that creeped me out a little too much. I saw the passion again tonight, and it was still so amazing, not so many tears, im thinking maybe i was just really emotional the first time i saw it, not to say that movie doesnt merit crying because it does, i dont really know where im going with this so i am changing subjects. I really dont like how when we are in school the weeks seem so stinkin long, but as soon as spring break rolls around, one of the greatest weeks of the year, it goes by so so fast, before we know it we are back in school. That sucks. When we were in CO on the elevator in the hotel we found an empty box of condoms on the floor, that was kinda gross, im hoping the box wasnt finished off on that elevator....needless to say, i didnt touch anything.

Ok last but not least, we went to this mexican restaurant in crested butte, and it only proved my theory that mexican food just isnt as good the further you get from the border. Im not sayin this is true in all cases, but i swear the queso we ordered was made with swiss cheese, it was disgusting. Then my chicken quesadillas, were made with dark meat........what in the heck is that, it was gross, and my mom said the margarita wasnt good either, and thats why i dont trust those places, they just arent as good. But the dark meat thing might be a colorado thing, cuz i had a chicken caesar salad for lunch, and it was also made with dark meat, i dont like that it just tastes weird....thats all i got, have a great spring break! or whats left of it......:/

"go girlfriend im ya motha....."

What a beautiful wonderful day! Everything is just so good, im happy. Im really really happy, and the day isnt even over yet! Not to mention spring break is now just one short day away.....life is good. Im looking forward to just take some time to chill and be with my friends, we have all been so busy lately, so it will be nice to get in some serious hang out time. Im going to the lacrosse game tonight, and im excited! Its just so raw and violent and wonderful, and apparantly our team is really good this year, and sports are always more fun to watch when you have a great team. I have so many movies i have yet to see, so hopefully i can get around to that this next week. I need to see Miracle, Starsky and Hutch, Club Dread (maybe), and i would really like to see the Passion....again, its just amazing. I say maybe to Club Dread because i hear it isnt that great, its funny sure, but not Super Troopers funny, that movie is just freakin hilarious everytime i see it. And its the same guys so i assumed it would be good, but im getting mixed reviews. Its so gorgeous outside, i love it, its makin me get excited for summer, so many possibilities and hopefully lots of road trips. A cruise would be ideal....but we will have to see about that. So there may not be a new episode of Friends on tonight, but they are doin that top 6 epidoes of all time, and tonight is, in my opinion, probably the greatest, thats right im talkin about the Brad Pitt episode. He is just so so so beautiful, wonderful, absolutely fantastic. Its funny because i say all that about him in this episode and he STILL isnt as hot in it as he is in Ocean's 11. In a word, he is Perfection, he is sex, i dont care what you say just look at him....its only proof that God made some things to bring us joy and happiness, he just happens to be one of them. Alright im gonna go work out, gotta get in shape! Everyone be happy spring break is just a day away!

"Its like were looking down on wayne's basement.....only thats not wayne's basement....isnt that weird?"

Ive done it again. I hoped so desperately for something i thought would be so amazing, and of course i didnt get it. Only this time, instead of realizing i wouldnt get it, instead of being like oh my gosh this isnt gonna happen, i accepted it. Because in this situation, that which i so desperately hoped for i knew i wouldnt get, deep down i knew, so this isnt as emotionally difficult as it could have been, its just more like a really big bummer. Because whether or not it was something i realized i would never have, or something that i accepted i would never have, i still dont have it, and that kinda stinks. Yea its a let down, but i think it isnt bothering me so much this time because, deep down i also know that there is something so amazing waiting for me, i just havent found it yet. I feel like i am aiming for this target and i keep missing it, but i get a little closer everytime, and just when i am about to settle for something thats not exactly right for me, i dont get it, or it hits me that hey i havent hit my target yet, i havent gotten what i deserved and i shouldnt settle for less. But this time, i dont think it was settling for less.....it was more like ok, if my target is like a bullseye on a dartboard, and im at a bar with a bunch of dartboards, and its like i hit the bullseye on the dartboard next to me, its still so cool and so awesome, but that was someone elses target, not mine, it was cool, but not as cool as i know it will be when i finally hit my target.

I bet that made absolutely no sense. If you got something out of it, then bravo, because it makes me sound a little cracked out. But anyways, the point is, im letting this go, im not gonna let it bug me, because im confident that i still havent hit my target, yea i have gotten close, but im not there yet, but i know its coming, and that makes me happy. Because i know when i finally hit the bullseye it will be greater than anything i could ever imagine.

P.S.-So prom is comin up, need a date, any suggestions?

"Oh the Great Bambino, of course! I thought you said the great.....bambi...."

There is one thing that really bothers me, well probably more than one, but nothing i couldnt get over....anyways, something that has always bothered me is guys who drive girl cars. It really gets under my skin when i see a guy driving down the road in a celica, or a mustang is the mustang isnt like a classic or something. And then its bad, because the guys that choose to drive these cars simultaneously think that they are really hot stuff, im talking they are the shiznit and no one can touch them.....you are driving a girl car, i was tougher than you when i was 12.....a 12 year old girl is tougher than you......these are the kinda guys i pull up next to and glance over casually and they look over to, and i look away (obviously not impressed) and as i anxiously await for the red light to turn green i look over and there he is....seat leaned back....one hand on the wheel, rap music turned up obnoxiously loud, probably has sunglasses on, even if it at night, why you ask? because hello thats totally hot.....anyways, you know you have seen this guy, and you know you want to hit this guy, at least i do, because i would like to meet the one girl that he actually got using this method, that would lead him to believe he should continue using it because he is under the idea that it works. If i ever met this girl....ya know what scratch that, i dont even want to meet this girl, she might have a bad influence on me, and on my beliefs on what is attractive in a man. And to backtrack a bit, its not that white guys cant listen to rap, im a white girl and i listen to rap, its just the manner in which they listen to rap that makes the distinction between cool, and asking to get hit in the genitals with a tack hammer.

Wow that was violent, i would never ever do that, unless i was being attacked of course, but still you get the idea, this guy is annoying, maybe its because i drive a truck and i feel superior to him i dont know, i just dont find it attractive when a guy driving a more stereotypically feminine car tries to act all hard, but maybe thats just me.

"i cant see with this thing on!!!"

I love our boys basketball team. They were so fun to watch all season, and no offense, i have friends on that football team, but the basketball boys really made up for that disgrace of a season. The fans all year were so much fun, we went a little too far sometimes, but most of the time, i couldnt help but just laugh. But anyways, they played great the first game and whooped mansfield summit, that was a really fun game. Then we played cedar hill the next day, and the baseball team, who brought alot of fans, had a game at the same time our boys did, so they couldnt be there, and that took away from our fan power. So without leaders in tyler henley and alex harrison, our fans resorted to profanity to get into the other teams head, and i didnt like that it was kinda embarassing. The other team was gooood people kept yelling at the division one signee "you suck jason!!!!" he doesnt suck, are you kidding me? hes killing us! yea that got old fast. We stayed at the hilton, the same hotel as the baseball and basketball team, and lucky for us we stayed on the same floor as our bball guys. I just wish we would have gotten to hang out with them more, i love those guys, they are so fun, but they didnt really leave their rooms the whole night so that kinda sucked. The point is i love them all, they had such a great season, so much fun to watch, i guess this just kinda hits me a little harder cuz im a senior and i have watched andrew derek matt morgan and brian play since like 7th grade, and im gonna miss it. And i know how andrew and derek feel with the season ending on a sour note, im empathizing right now, and im just kinda bummed out....

Webster's definition of Midland-vast barren wasteland of nothingness.....oh my goodness if you want to go on a road trip dont go to midland......ever. Im not saying it wasnt worth it because it was, but sweet lord of hosts it was boring, for about 150 miles there was absolutely nothing, and im not joking, it was flat land....forever and ever amen. They always talked about highway hypnosis and drivers ed, and now i know what that feels like, it took every ounce of strength in my body not to fall asleep. I had a fun time with randi and her mom though, and im really glad we got to go out there. So we are driving home rockin out to some tight jams, when i see a cop coming up and i was speeding a little cuz the speed limit is 70 and there is no one around and everyone was passing us, so i see the cop and slow down and when i pass him he pulls out and pulls me over, he radared me before i slowed down and passed his car, and i had no way out of it and gave him my license, and sat there and i was just like CRAP this sucks, people were passing us all day why wasnt he catching them? so he comes back hands me my license and was like watch your speed and just walked away....no ticket.....no nothing.......granted i was celebrating triumphantly but i still have no idea why i didnt get that ticket i was going like 12 over with no excuse....and i got nothing, im gonna go ahead and say that was all the good Lord on my side, because my mother probably would have killed me. Oh yea and on our way, we pulled over to get gas in this little podunk town, and these mexicans drove by and whooped and hollered, then like 5 minutes later we look over and they are right next to us at the station, i hate dirty mexicans, they make me feel like i need to take a shower after i put them in a maximum security prison. This of course does not apply to all mexicans, i like some mexicans, like Eduardo Najera, i like him, i dont think i would put him in a maximum security prison. Oh yea, i dont like tiny little podunk towns either.

So that was midland, i never want to go there again. But it was totally worth it because i love those guys, i love our fans and im really gonna miss it. One week till spring break.....heck yea! Its about time, we have earned it, cant wait to go skiing and hang out with my friends.....im out.

"your cornrows are too confusing!!!"

I would honestly like to know how i could possibly get heartburn from a bowl of cereal.....isnt that a bit ridiculous? Thats all i have eaten in the past 6 hours and i have heartburn, im starting to get concerned. Im pretty sure me and Leah are gonna drive up to Midland to watch the boys play, im excited i hope they win, they deserve it. Im in one of those moods where im missin basketball. Just the games, the atmosphere everything that i dont think anyone can truly appreciate while they have it, i would try to, but i couldnt focus on the little things that make it wonderful, cuz i had to focus on the game, but i just wanna play again.

Im really getting tired of people making a mockery of The Passion of the Christ, VH1, Conan Obrien and probably countless others, that is my Savior and Lord you are making fun of and i dont like it, it makes me angry because it makes an impression on every non christian out there who couldnt tell you one thing about Jesus Christ, it just upsets me. And apparantly critics are criticizing it because it has no miracles........i would like to see them go through that without lashing out at the people hurting them, without screaming and cursing them, that Jesus did not say one hateful word to those people is in itself a miracle. And then the people saying there is no message.....that its just a violent sad scene in this guys life....wow, my heart literally aches for these people, i dont know who they are and so i cant just call them and tell them about the amazing sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross, that everytime he got whipped it was for us, when they nailed his hands and feet to the cross it was for us, if anything the message is forgiveness....this whole time these people are just beating the life out of him as he asks God to forgive them....that just amazes me, we have such an amazing God. I know you are probably tired of hearing people talk about this but it was just on my mind, but see it for yourself if you havent, and form your own opinions.

"take my hand, take my whole life too, for i cant help, falling in love with you"

Obviously i couldnt stay away too long, i just couldnt resist, and for all three of you who read this.....its all for you guys!

You Got Served, (emily i hope your happy) i know i have already talked about it, but it has been requested by my peers (emily) that i revisit it to analyze the interweaving and perplexing plotlines, the believable acting, and of course the brilliant writing.......or maybe just the outrageously cool dancing; as far as im concerned there was no plot, there were no words (well maybe there were, but i would rather not have heard them "my brother is tripping" please....) there was only sensational dancing, anyone who wants to start a dancin crew with me give me a holla, we can meet once or twice a week work on our moves bust it out, and hopefully someday be back up dancers for Lil Kim, or maybe Britney, but really either one of those two artists would require us to be mostly naked. So to be in this lil dance crew, nudity prolly shouldnt be an issue.

Funny story, today in PALS we were counting votes for the PALS next year and someone would read off the names, say how many votes they got and we would mark them down. Well one of the lucky caller outers today was none other than the Lauren Sierra. Well as you know sophomores and juniors think they are funny, they are not. They put stupid names down, or hate on PALS and do all kinds of funny things. Well Lauren was reading off the names and she goes "Jack Meoff?" and we all paused and we all laughed so hard, she totally didnt realize it until it was too late, and i laughed harder than i have in a long time, it made my day, what a wonderful moment.

Im gonna go ahead and shout out to the Unbeatable Brady Tarbush, 43-0 wrestling state champion, thats awesome, what an accomplishment. I was inspired by his victory, i saw him this morning and i was gonna call him a stud, and you know how people call you a stud muffin? which really if you think about it is a huge oxymoron, what is studly about a muffin? but anyways, i was gonna call him that when all of a sudden i wanted to call him studly mcmuffin....it just came into my head from i dont know where, and i wanted to say it, i think i might, but he will just make fun of me, he makes fun of me for everything, he makes fun of me for having feet. Ok maybe not, in that specific instance i should be able to make fun of him he has hairy ape man feet, but thats ok we will call it a sign of verility, and im not gonna mess with the champ, so i think im just gonna keep studly mcmuffin to myself, maybe it will be my alias, like johnny potsmoker, or smokey mcpot...

"You dont own the water, its Gods water"