I got back from houston today, that was an adventure. I got to see all my cousins on my dads side so that was cool, and it was fun to watch my family develop an intense hatred for one another just over the course of three days, i would say i left just in time. Family is cool though for the most part....speakin of family before i left i had some family come here and i got to hang with them for a little and i met one of my cousins who is like 2 and i hadnt ever seen him....he goes by Hal. His parents named him that, and to this day i dont understand why...So hal is quite a character, he doesnt match his brother and sisters, they all look like eskimo/american indian children, he has blonde hair...and a totally different face, i think its wrong for me to be the one to tell him hes adopted. Anyways, i think his older brother thinks hal might be turning queer because he made sure that we all knew his favorite color was pink, and good for hal he wasnt ashamed to admit it. Then i was leaving to go to the airport, he wanted to play catch with me, with baseball gloves and a football. Now of course i did cuz it was the cutest thing ever, but i just wonder if he, like the stereotypical homosexual man cant seem to distinguish between the sports, i would have said homosexuals in general, but homo women....its not in their genes to make a mistake like that.

I was in the airport today for like an hour or more cuz my flight got delayed, and there were no chairs so im chillin on the ground, and these two black guys that work there wheel in these two old ladies in wheel chairs, the black guys looked like friends and i was wondering if they ever wanted to race the old ladies down the terminal. You know how those mean people who drive the carts are always yelling to clear the aisle, i figured the black guys wouldnt have to do that because the terror filled screams of said senior citizens would move anyone out of the way, but i was lookin at one of the black guys shoes and they matched the wheel chair perfectly, and they were jordans, so i picked him to win the race, the other guy was just wearing nikes, and they didnt even match his wheelchair.

"a wedding? i love weddings! drinks all around..."

Merry Christmas Eve everyone! Well its christmas time again, and im happy because the last few years it hasn't felt like christmas at all....but this year it does, for me anyways. But its nowhere near as awesome as it as when we were kids. My gosh i would start counting down the days till christmas from like Dec. 26, and now christmas kinda sneaks up on you...you buy gifts, you get gifts and its over......makes you wanna be a kid again.

Well this past week....i finally saw LOTR all three of them, i hadnt seen the first two up until last wednesday. And i LOVED all three, they are just amazing.....they have everything action, romance, comedy everything. Most of the comedy does indeed come from the constant homosexual inuendo between frodo and sam....if you didnt see it, then you just werent watching the movies at all, because it is all over the place and has the potential to give you a really good laugh. I think the gayness of frodo's character wasnt too far from the real life sexuality of elijah wood, i mean look at the kid he is nearly the ideal personification of "queer" thats why he was perfect for the part. I must say Legalos....so so so so so HOT. Wow he is just nothing short of a bad ass, and there is really no other way to describe him, because thats what he is. Leah and i decided he was so amazing not only because he is HOT but because he is so mysterious, there is something very HOT about that. The sad irony is, Orlando Bloom....not so HOT. Hes good lookin i guess....but as soon as slaps on that blonde wig and picks up that bow and arrow, forgive me if i lose complete self control. Poor orlando though hes just not very attractive, he looks a little fruity himself, but thats prolly due to the skinniness and his strange resemblence to a small gay mexican/italian hybrid. But the blonde wig and bow an arrow, seem to hide that all, thus making Legalos amazing. I was thinking....you know how in friends Ross and chandler are talking about fantasies and they talk about princess lea in the gold bikini? Well i was thinking maybe Legalos was the equivalent for the females.....

So i cant believe i just went on that long about LOTR does this officially make me the biggest loser ever? I dont think so......i think its more of i have finally seen the light that is the brilliance of LOTR and i felt the need to express it to all. Think what you may of me but that wont change the fact that i just love these movies.

MeRrY cHrIsTmAs EvE eVeRyOnE!!!!

Man a whole nuther week without a blog....i dont know why i have been so neglectful.....forgive me.

So i decided that speed limits were created for/by depressed/bummed out people. Cuz ok i was driving down the road tonight and i was kinda bummed out....i dont know why probably something stupid, but as i went through all the different speed zones i wasnt really payin attention and i would look down and i was like always going the speed limit....everywhere i went. And i thought to myself....i dont go the speed limit when i am happy....its just too slow for my mood, but when i am sad, i dont really want to move so my body just kinda defaults to whatever the speed limit is....

Isnt it interesting how whenever someone comes to you for advice you can look at the situation objectively and help them solve their problems, but as soon as you have something to deal with, you have NO CLUE what to do. Even if it is something similiar to a problem you solved for a friend without really thinking....i noticed that today, and i think its ironic, but it also kinda sucks.

Something else i noticed, i must have been a very observant person this week, alot of cute couples, not all but alot kinda look similiar....not like twins or brother and sister or anything just its something about them that makes them alike that ties them together like a puzzle or something. This makes me wonder if i should be looking for someone that resembles me, maybe God made us like puzzle pieces matching up with someone who is alot like us but a lot different in many ways, because if you have noticed about puzzles is that two pieces may fit perfectly but be made completely different. Maybe its the same way with people. But wouldnt it suck if this was how it really was and we all started to look for the right person, and you meet this guy and your friends are like man yall are so cute together! and you look alike and you realize that hes not that attractive, implying you also arent attractive.....that would be one heck of a harsh reality check......hey you your fat and ugly you should hook up with fat and ugly guy down the street what a stunning combination!

I got a digital camera for xmas.....its about time.

"Picture me rollin...."
(if you know what thats from....you in a nutshell are pure brilliance)

Alright so i havent had much to say this week, and i still dont, but i feel like i should have something to say so since i am verbally and creatively constipated, lets see if i can force something out.....

Ok wow so i really hope snoring isnt hereditary, cuz all my grandparents snore, i currently dont, i am a very quiet motionless sleeper actually, but i just hope it isnt something that develops overtime like osteoperosis. You may be wondering how i know that i am a quiet motionless sleeper, and i deduced this from the fact that i wake up in the exact same place and almost the exact same position and when i sleepover at peoples houses, i dont get noise complaints. Every once in a while i will talk/mumble in my sleep, but its not too often, and i figure i am just dreaming something so cool, that i just have to tell people about it right at that moment, whether they are awake to listen to it or not.

This one time like i said i dont hardly move when i sleep and i woke up in the middle of the night all twisted and tangled in my sheets and pillows and what not, and it was so unorthodox of me, and scared me so much that i had trouble falling back asleep because i was so confused that i wasnt in my usual postition that for one i just laid there tangled and discombobulated, and was thinking "how did i get here? whats going on?" and i actually lost sleep instead of just rolling back into the dent i have made in the shape of myself on the bed and going back to sleep. I swear i laid there restless for an hour in confusion.....it was odd.

Then there was the time i went to bed in like pants and a t shirt (i must have been cold) and underwear, and i woke up TOTALLY NAKED. I woke up and i was like "hmmm somethings not right" and then i was like man im naked! and i sat up and all my clothes were in a pile on the other side of the room.....and i was scared. I wanted to know why in the middle of my peaceful slumber i had felt the need to strip myself naked and launch my clothes to the other side of the room. What if it had been one of those nights that my friends come and knock on my window at like 3 AM and i had just crawled out of bed disoriented.....and naked, and opened the window completely unawares of my nudity....how embarassing.

The point is, i dont want to snore walk talk or strip in my sleep so with that in mind, i am off to bed, in hopes of a relatively uneventful 7 hours of rest.

"moisture is the essence of wetness......wetness is the essence of beauty"

I AM OFFICIALLY A TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY AGGIE!!!!!! GIG EM WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!! Man im so excited, im top 10% so i knew i would get it, but to finally know for sure is a great feeling i cannot wait, those core boys better watch out, they arent ready for this, thats all i have to say. YAY!!!!!!

So tonight i saw Honey, i knew going into this it was going to be wonderfully cheezy (actually i didnt somehow i managed to miss every preview ever for this movie, but i saw it with the nedderman and she said it would be cheezy so thats kinda what i went on) but so good, cuz hello it has dancing. Ok so anyways, long story short, good good movie, and there was a whole lot of car dancing on my way home. Ya know driving down the street, feelin the beat, bustin a move and drivin at the same time, now that takes skill. I just couldnt help it i wanted to dance so bad, so i did, but i wanted more than anything to be really really good.......but i really really wasnt.

I just want more than anything to be able to dance, to just hear music and just go with it, but i cant no matter how hard i try.......and im gonna take a stab and say maybe its cuz im whiter than white, sure im in BG we dance but what kinda people are in BG?? WHITE PEOPLE lots of them, we have ethnic diversity dont get me wrong, but i think i can say that at least in a crowd full of white people i can make myself look like i have at least a glimmer of hope of rythym but take me down to like the west end to some club......you may as well just put me in a helicopter fly over 121 and drop me into the middle of rush hour traffic naked with a shaved head, because that would probably be less humiliating and painful.


I want black children, i want to be surrounded by them, they are sooo soo cute. Gosh ok so we all know that genetics wouldnt allow me to have african american children, but im willing to settle for half and halfs, they are so beautiful. Are you ever afraid your kids are gonna be ugly? I mean of course they are gonna be beautiful in your eyes, but deep down, you know your kids a loser, that would suck. I can see my kids having like a lazy eye, or a big mole with one long hair sticking out of it on their face the size of a half dollar, or like really really ugly toes.

"Am i jumpin all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree?"

The other day i got a new venus razor, and not just any old venus razor a pink one, i feel so wonderfully feminine.

You know i was gonna try to do something fun and exciting with my away messages, you know, jazz them up a bit, i was gonna do christmas lyrics, every day until christmas in each one. But i soon realized that the songs i do on there generally fit my mood, and for reasons i cannot grasp "grandma got ran over by a reindeer" doesnt truly express my feelings, because my grandmother is sitting right here, and no point in time has she ever been run over by a reindeer on any given christmas eve, so i scratched that idea, i may throw in a little holiday spirit every once in a while, but i think it best that i stick to what i know and what i feel, not the world of fictious animals running over senior citizens on the same holiday every year.


A certain natural phenomenon has occured every monday sporadically throughout this past year, without fail. This event cannot be put into words for most of my reading audience, but if you are a good friend of mine, and you read the context clues, i think you will know what i am referring to. Anyways, this event has occured like CLOCKWORK on many mondays over the last few months, but this monday has gone by....and nothing.....this worries me, something is out of order within the cosmos.....something is very wrong, this reminds me of joe dirt "is this what you wanna be doin when jesus comes back?" not that this was something that i ever did on a monday, it just makes me think of it. And with that, makes you think of lots of things you could be doing when jesus comes back, wouldnt it be kinda weird if you were having like explosive diarrhea and bam the second coming, i just think that would be kinda of an awkward encounter, but the good thing about heaven is there is no pain or discomfort, herego, no explosive diarrhea.

My dog is such an idiot he just crapped in my room, see the thing is, he has this uncanny ability to lock himself in the laundry room, and the laundry room is right by my room, so i hear him whining and go to let him out and he was in my room, he had chewed on some of my pens and taken a dump, sinner.....

"Its my parakeet petey......his head fell off"